Dad's rambling again 2

Vacation at the beach.

We had seven great days of sun and sand. Kids were fantastic, weather was almost perfect and we created wonderful memories. That said, there are still a few things to ramble about…. like tattoos and bikinis.

How are people paying for all of this ink if we are in a recession? Apparently Obama’s stimulus package targeted tattoo parlors because I read more off of people’s bodies than I did from books. While I don’t have any myself, I’m not anti-tattoo. The ladies want a heart on the ankle or something small and tasteful on the small of the back? No problem. A guy wants a snake up his arm or something to flex on the bicep? Whatever, if it’s good enough for Popeye, go for it.

But c’mon. I saw one guy who had writing, just writing mind you, from his neck across his entire chest and down to his waist. Who’s reading this? It’s just not normal to stop someone and say “Excuse me Gomer, may I read you”? Maybe he had it all written backwards so he can use a mirror and read it himself. What possesses someone to do this?

And the bikinis, oh dear heaven the bikinis at the beach. Now I’m a guy so I notice girls in bikinis, but please, please ladies. There comes a day when you need to hang it up. I’m not in the best shape, and so I don’t wear a Speedo. Apparently there are bikini stores that either have no mirrors or they installed those fun house mirrors you see at the carnivals. Two ladies walked past us who were wearing attire that clearly violated the laws of nature. Somehow they filled a 10 lb bag with 37 lbs. It may have been cruel, but someone needs to tell them that their best years (among other things) are behind them. Here’s a hint. If your bikini fits you like a thong, disappearing to the naked eye…and it isn’t a thong….put it back. You’re over 40, grow up. At the very least think of us poor guys who happen to look up as you walk by. Shoving sand into your eyes hurts even when you do it on purpose.

But then again, maybe I’m just rambling……